So, I admit I'm maybe a bit overly fascinated by how Miss JA constructs herself, but fuck I love celebrity. And $10 bucks says he was all coked up.
- The post:
- I cannot believe this conversation just happened, but I SWEAR TO GOD the below is verbatim. James was my last serious college boyfriend.
- James: You were nothing but fantastic and great to me.
- Me: Wow. [stunned silence]
- James: Jules, if I'm really honest, I was young, dumb and full of cum. I was an angry person, I wasn't a very happy person. You're smart Jules. You're really, really really smart and I felt intimidated by that.
- Me: [stunned silence. pinches self. self *seems* to be awake.]
- James: It takes a long time, man, to figure this shit out.
- Me: [stunned silence]
- James: You taught me more than any one girl could teach me in my lifetime. I've cleaned up my act. Haven't had a drink in four and half months. Haven't fucked around. I'm not taking any more of my dad's money.
- Me: [stunned silence]
- James: When I tell you I was in love with you, I was not lying. Anybody that dumps you now is a fool.
- Me: [stunned silence]
- James: When I see you doing this well, I just want to scream. Well done Julesie. Well done.
- Me: [drops phone]
- The Backstory: On occasion I will see an international phone number pop up on my caller ID. I almost always ignore it, since it’s usually from James, the fellow I dated my junior and senior year at Georgetown. James is … hmm. How to describe him? He’s from New Zealand, the son of a billionaire, which really fucked him up. He also had a problem with alcohol, which really upset me. Despite that, I was mad for him, absolutely crazy in love with him. We had a particularly dramatic breakup, which involved me & his blonde younger sister in a fistfight which sent me to the hospital. The entire Georgetown campus talked about it for weeks (File Under: Can’t make this shit up).
